What do you do when you just fail?
It's a serious question. Now, I'm not talking about not finishing first in a race or not passing some sort of test, that you thought you had aced. No, I'm talking about something that should have been easy. Something, that maybe if you had better luck with timing, maybe you would have achieved that goal.
No it's not the end of the world. I'm still here. It's not like nothing was completely lost... It's just...
I'll never know what I could have gained.
I've been told by those in the know, that I should be on a mental vacation. I should just stop this insessant planning which has been causing whirlpools of never-ending thoughts in my brain. Those ones that don't just keep you up for one night, they keep you up for months. Years.
You know the cause of the obsession. The obsession itself changed. It was one thing, which morphed into another, which grew into a third. At the end I don't know how many there are offhand. If I wanted to take the time and count them all up... I think I could.But I'm on vacation. The root of the obsession(s) will be dealt with. I guess. At some point. Later.
So what do you do if you fail and you don't know how to go on a mental vacation? What if you not only don't know where to purchase the tickets for the cruise, but you don't even know how to wrap your mind around the concept?
There are so many things to be dealt with. So many other things. Things that have dripped off the laundry list, on to the shopping list and are quickly flooding the to do list. So many things piling onto other things. So many things you can't even stop to wonder what those "other" people do. You know who they are. You saw them in a magazine that you flipped through and then tossed into a pile. You're just too busy to read it because you need to think about all of those things. Sometimes you just get tired thinking of those things. Those million, billion little things.
I went to a marketing meeting today. I realized, that I have no ability to schmooze. It's not a tallent I've ever really wanted to acquire. I run in the opposite direction of networking. I refuse to have a business card, that has a standard font from Microsoft Word. I refuse to have a busines card, that I didn't create in a fit of boredom to pass the time. I refuse to have a business card to hand to someone so they can remember who I am. I refuse to have a business card, that condenses my life and career in two...
Raminta Raminta Raminta
Marketing director Sheet Metal Technical Specialist
Raminta Raminta Raminta
Project Manager Artistic Director Executive Assistant
Right now I should be crossing of things on my many lists to make room for more things. These things never seem to be satistified with being cornered into a situation where they can just be eliminated. They breed and create havoc within their thing population. There is no way to control the population humanely or inhumanely. So as these things, these many things, that are never satisfied with being crossed off and set aside, they grow and grow.
Taking a mental vacation just becomes another thing to be added to the list of things. Things to be done, to be bought, to be crossed off.